WiP Show and Tell # 2

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heroin-packets-show-and-tell

I’m sure you guys have picked up that I am pretty excited about how my MS is going. It’s basically a complete re-write of my previous WiP, I mean, it’s not even the same story anymore. But I feel much more confident about it! I got some good reactions to the opening I shared a couple weeks ago, so I thought I would share a little more. And, I am currently participating in Camp NaNoWriMo for the month to try and help me stay excited about this new WiP, let me know if you are too, my cabin is terrible so I would love some blogger support!

Now, the basic premise so far is that Brigid, the MC, has been told by her father that she has to break this guy out of prison. He’s an Outsider (pretty self explanatory) and she kind of knows him. She did not expect to have to interrogate him though. . .

He’s strung up by the wrists, his shoulders visibly straining to support his weight. His face is mottled with bruises, some fresh in black and purples, others fading into green and a jaundiced yellow, making his face a horrific mosaic of color. There is blood trailing down his hand to his forearm and steadily dripping into a small puddle on the ground – he’s missing some fingernails.

I’m trying to be better about visual images, that was certainly something lacking in my first draft. Good, cliche, blah? I know I have a ton of “his” and “he’s” but I’ll take care of all that later.

 

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13 thoughts on “WiP Show and Tell # 2

  1. I think the pronouns work here because we’re taking him in as Brigid is. Also, I love how you went from least gruesome to most, dropping that “fingernails” bomb at the end. It built up really well. I can see you’ve improved, even from just this little snippet.

    Liked by 1 person

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